Friday, June 25, 2010
Wednesday, June 23, 2010
Requirement #8
On a lighter note than yesterday's post, here is today's requirement. He must not have words like snuggle, cuddle, drinkie, trucko, blankie, or clippie in his vocabulary. I am the female in the relationship. I am supposed to be the one to ask to cuddle or snuggle. There is nothing more annoying than waking up to someone that is asking to cuddle or snuggle for the entire morning. If you want to de-masculate yourself, give it a try. Every time I hear the word snuggle, I think of that creepy stuffed bear with the freakishly high pitched voice on the TV commercials. Not exactly what I want to associate my boyfriend with.
As for the rest of the words on my list.....If you are thirsty you get a drink, not a drinkie. If you drive a vehicle with a cab in the front and a long flat bed in the back that you can haul stuff around in, it's a truck not a trucko. If you are cold you cover yourself with a blanket, not a blankie. And last but not least if you have overgrown toenails, you cut them with a toenail clipper, not a clippie. I have plenty more examples of nauseating words like these that should never come out of the mouth of a boy over the age of 5, but just writing about these few has caused me to throw up in my mouth a little.
So no baby talk, guys. And I (the female) should be the one asking to cuddle or snuggle. And if I never ask to do it, consider yourself lucky. Some guys are required to do these things all the time against their will.
As for the rest of the words on my list.....If you are thirsty you get a drink, not a drinkie. If you drive a vehicle with a cab in the front and a long flat bed in the back that you can haul stuff around in, it's a truck not a trucko. If you are cold you cover yourself with a blanket, not a blankie. And last but not least if you have overgrown toenails, you cut them with a toenail clipper, not a clippie. I have plenty more examples of nauseating words like these that should never come out of the mouth of a boy over the age of 5, but just writing about these few has caused me to throw up in my mouth a little.
So no baby talk, guys. And I (the female) should be the one asking to cuddle or snuggle. And if I never ask to do it, consider yourself lucky. Some guys are required to do these things all the time against their will.
Tuesday, June 22, 2010
Sidenote #3
I was sad to hear today that the Free Credit Report.com people are looking for a new band to do their commercials. That means my favorite commercial cutie won't be on them anymore. It figures. I finally find some commercials I actually want to watch and they kill em. See for yourself....
http://freecreditscoreband.com/
http://freecreditscoreband.com/
Requirement #7
This should go without saying, but he must not be an ex-felon. You know what they say...once a felon, always a felon. Even on the off chance you find an ex-felon that sincerely wants to turn his life around and become something other than a criminal, in the eyes of the rest of the world he is still a felon. Let me elaborate....
Statistics show that 80% of people that have once been incarcerated end up in prison multiple times. Chances are, if you find yourself a nice ex-felon that you want to start a relationship with, he won't be free for long. But let's say you found one of the good ones in the 20% that won't get locked up and he really wants to make something of himself. If you think that can actually happen, you are just fooling yourself.
First of all, you know that section on a job application that asks you to declare your criminal history? Guess what? They actually do background checks and most companies don't want ex-felons working for them. Go figure! So chances are, your little criminal teddy bear will remain jobless and you get to support him. Yippee!
Secondly, even if you're ex-felon is staying out of trouble, there is not one single soul on the face of the earth that will trust him after learning about his past. This is especially true of law enforcement officers. You may have them following you around town, breaking into your house and tearing it apart, or bringing your beau home in the middle of the night after picking him up for questioning. This may cause your neighbors to question what is going on in your household and may even lead them to believe that your beau is holding you against your will or abusing you. Not exactly the attention you want to bring to yourself.
In conclusion, while it might seem exciting and dangerous to be associated with an ex-felon and you feel like your purpose in life is to save him and change him for the better, you really don't need this shit. I recommend running as fast as you can in the other direction. Go find yourself a nice science geek like Leonard in the Big Bang Theory. He may be boring, but you'll be happier in the long run.
Statistics show that 80% of people that have once been incarcerated end up in prison multiple times. Chances are, if you find yourself a nice ex-felon that you want to start a relationship with, he won't be free for long. But let's say you found one of the good ones in the 20% that won't get locked up and he really wants to make something of himself. If you think that can actually happen, you are just fooling yourself.
First of all, you know that section on a job application that asks you to declare your criminal history? Guess what? They actually do background checks and most companies don't want ex-felons working for them. Go figure! So chances are, your little criminal teddy bear will remain jobless and you get to support him. Yippee!
Secondly, even if you're ex-felon is staying out of trouble, there is not one single soul on the face of the earth that will trust him after learning about his past. This is especially true of law enforcement officers. You may have them following you around town, breaking into your house and tearing it apart, or bringing your beau home in the middle of the night after picking him up for questioning. This may cause your neighbors to question what is going on in your household and may even lead them to believe that your beau is holding you against your will or abusing you. Not exactly the attention you want to bring to yourself.
In conclusion, while it might seem exciting and dangerous to be associated with an ex-felon and you feel like your purpose in life is to save him and change him for the better, you really don't need this shit. I recommend running as fast as you can in the other direction. Go find yourself a nice science geek like Leonard in the Big Bang Theory. He may be boring, but you'll be happier in the long run.
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